Tuesday, May 30, 2006

i am toe scum...but not

folio news!

if you go to Google

and you type in 'toe scum'

guess who's website blog digital space nook book lego piece leaf fractal fern part (see first post for all you confused looking folk) comes up first???




thats right! MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

you really know you've reached the pinnacle of your achievements when you can google something and you appear FIRST on the list!

here is something i can tell my kids...and they can tell their kids..and their kids can tell their kids...and their kids kids can tell their kids..and so on and so forth.

but by that time i'll most likely have kicked the bucket so...i dont really care if my kids kids kids dont tell their kids.....just as long as i tell my kids and they tell their kids....

so let all your friends know...that andy can be found as toe scum on google.

but also let them know that i dont necessarily want to be associated with toe scum. it just so happens that i am. needless to say i'm not toe scum

that is all. thankyou

posted by andos @ 1:31 AM 1 comments

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

3pm



here is an andy folio thought for you

3pm is the time when the sun comes into the games rooms and bounces off the floor and catches the corner of my eye whilst i work at the computer.

And everytime i turn to look at the bright reflection of the sun on the floor

and everytime it hurts my eyes

but yet everytime at 3pm, It still tricks me into looking at it.


posted by andos @ 3:14 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

last jury of the YEAR!

log: andy's account of his latest jury
date:22-05-06
--------------------------------------------

_marco: so who's next?

at this point andy walks up to the front and nearly falls over.
(for dramatic effect)

_andy: well....i started to think about how the building would sit on the hill and how people would move around the building.

at this point...andy starts mumbling because as of now, he has no ides what he's really talking about.







_andy: so...um...building...
space....view...yeah.


_panel of jurors in sync: silence.................














_reece: yeah....it looks like you've drawn and designed things at a particular scale.....it might help to deconstruct it and draw lots of little diagrams, maybe about fifteen, to explain how each kinda...individual program works so when you put them together they make more sense as a whole.....

_andy: (thinks to himself). jee thanks for the USELESS comment reece. now i'll go home at sit at my computer and look like that kid except minus the checkered shirt with the clown collar.

at this point andy starts to think about how nice the vase across the gallery with big leaf in it looks.

and as soon as it had begun, it was over.

most useless jury EVER

posted by andos @ 1:42 PM 1 comments

Friday, May 19, 2006

long time coming

architecture?

i have a game...its called lets make fun of architecture.

here we go.

architorture
archicrapture
archicrap
autocrap
archi-ihateyouatthemoment-tecture
archi-thiswasmeanttobefun-tecture

this game sucks.

if architecture was a person, i'd bitchslap it on the face

wow...architecture has long golden hair. and it wears a girly frilly blouse. and i have some serious sideburns and i wear clothes my dad used to wear.

kaPOW

that'll teach YOU architecture!


posted by andos @ 3:13 AM 0 comments

Monday, May 15, 2006

todays NEWS HEADLINES


stop the press!

BIG NEWS!!

simone warne has decided to revert to her maiden name of callahan!

this is classified as "NEWS".....worthy of being broadcast to australia...



well excuse me...while i go and absorb more worthwhile information like

-The word "fart" comes from the Old English "feortan" (meaning "to break wind").

or

-The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
(these are true facts by the way..and of far more knowledgable value that that simone warne jibberish)

or maybe i'll just go and do something more constructive with my time like KILL MYSELF.

posted by andos @ 10:38 PM 0 comments

Sunday, May 14, 2006

the SCUM of the earth

lets talk about toe scum

toe scum: the buildup of dead skin and sock matter and other foreign objects under your toe nail

now...a hygenic person has a relatively low amount of toe jam/ scum under their toe nails.
its kinda the thing that no one can avoid...no matter how clean you are.

but when the jam turns BLACK then its time to PICK IT OUT

its like walking around with a big splinter in your head....you'd want to take it out
or maybe like an arrow through your forearm....you'd want to pull it out

so next time you decide to buy new shoes. clean your toes

i'd put a nice picture up of toe, or a toe scum/jam related picture....but YOU try google it and not look away.....

posted by andos @ 8:39 PM 0 comments

Saturday, May 13, 2006

car wash tips

so next time you want to wash your car...

check that your windows are fully up.

posted by andos @ 4:18 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

fish CAKE




all praise be to the inventor of fish cake!

how daring! to think 'hmm...i'm goin to make a cake! out of FISH!'

and all mr fish cakes friends laughed at him and thought he was an idiot.

NOW who's laughing hey??

thats right.....mr fish cake inventor man is!

posted by andos @ 1:56 PM 1 comments

Thursday, May 04, 2006

hello?

why do people reply to the answering of a phone 'hello' with hello?

its like....you ring

and i pick up and say hello?

then you say hello?

but see...thats MY job.

as the answerer of the phone...i have the duty to say 'hello?'

YOU have the duty of saying 'hello....' then continue on with who you want to speak too

by answering my 'hello?' with 'hello?'...we end up going in circles.

i get put in the uncomfortable position of saying hello again...when i've already said hello.

the conversation would then go

andy: hello?

person: hello?

andy: hello?

person:....hello?

true story.

and i was thinking....it would be good to get hit by an ambulance....because then they could just hop out and trundle you off to hospital.

posted by andos @ 8:40 PM 0 comments